Gone fishing

Where's the sport? I absolutely hate the idea of it. It's just cruel; plain and simple. I mean if you put it there, surely you understand I will do something about it. I'm not going to sit on my fluffy backside with a smile on my face am I!

Comical times

My owner is odd. He spends so much time looking after me if only I could speak. My bed is littered with comics. We live and die in the midst of marvels. If only he knew.

It's a cat's life

Being a cat is easy. Everything I've wanted in this life or the last given to me on a plate. Of course my needs are a lot simpler these days, no need to extend the empire further than this postcode rather than Europe, but nevertheless what a life. Better live a King, than a Prince.

Supplies

A cat marches on his stomach, and that's as true now as it was hundreds of years ago. So why do I only get one small bowl of food every morning, albeit with some very delicious fishy bits? What does a cat have to do? Invade Russia?

Napoleon is sleeping

British bulldog

We have new neighbours today, a new family, 2.4 children, two cars, and a dog. Merde.

Vets

It starts with a bribe. A nice piece of fish or chicken, so succulent, so irresistible. But it's bait. Poisoned. For it lies within the cage. As the gates closed behind me the sickness in my stomach fully overwhelming as I felt myself rise from the ground, carried dispassionately to the car.

These regular visitations to Helena the veterinary surgeon, oh how how hate the surgeons! But as I have always said, God is on the side with the best artillery, or in this case claws.

Budgie

I spent two hours stalking a budgie today. Prissy little blue bird. Tweet tweet in my tummy. Victory belongs to the most persevering.

My name is Napoleon

My name is Napoleon and I'm the reincarnation of Monsieur Bonaparte. Well why not.